It feels good to feel good.
I don’t mean that in an ironic sense, or a “I’m better than you” way. I mean it feels good when your body and mind feel good. When you are sick or injured, you certainly aren’t your best self. That “not feeling good” feeling really sucks. Whether its a self-inflicted imbalance from one too many IPA’s the night before, or an unfortunate chronic illness you are battling, sub-optimal health just doesn’t feel good. And you know that it doesn’t feel good. Even if you are off by just 10%, you know that it feels different than feeling 100%. You miss and CRAVE that 100% feeling.
I’m usually pretty sensitive to pollen and other allergens in the summertime. That affliction presents with the usual runny nose, sneezing, and itchy eyes. This summer was a little different. I didn’t get any of those symptoms despite pollen counts that were off the charts. Rather, I experienced fluid in my ears for the first time. In both ears. For almost two months. I can’t confirm that its attributable to allergies, but the coincidence isn’t lost on me. I’ve read that pollen allergies can present this way. Since my doctor couldn’t come up with anything better, I’m going to run with that.
Talk about something that will mess with you. Each day felt rotten. It really was a struggle to get through between the cycles of fatigue and the general feeling of imbalance. Your mind starts to wander to some weird places. You basically have an internal argument going on – your body/mind feel like just laying down and staying still. But, there is a small sliver of your mind that knows you shouldn’t do that, and it fights to keep you plugging ahead. That internal debate is exhausting.
I’m very happy to say that I’m going on my 7th day w/o those symptoms. It appears the fluid has resolved (which I’ve been told will happen over time, and was confirmed by a doctor’s appointment earlier in the week). Whether it was just time, or the mega dose regimen of Vitamin C I started about two weeks ago, I’m finally on the other side (at least it feels that way). It’s fun to wake up again. I’m going to really try to relish this 100% feeling for as long as I can.
I guess the moral of the story is – appreciate your health. Appreciate feeling good, Appreciate feeling energized. Appreciate feeling able.