Garage workout 3-28-18

I found a bunch of CrossFit movies on Amazon Prime recently, so I binge watched a show called “Killing the Fat Man.” The dude was an ex-marine that completely let himself go, and ballooned up to about 280 lbs. And, he may or may not have run some type of arm-wrestling website. I never could figure that out. Anyway, the series tracks his progress from his first day of CrossFit up to about 5 months later. If you separate the fact that this was one huge commercial for CrossFit, and that this guy is OBSESSED with how much sex he can get now that he isn’t fat, you can distill it down to a pretty inspirational story. I’ve known about the different WOD’s for sometime now (you can find them online if you just search), and I was particularly interested in the “Baseline” workout that he did on his first day, and on the last day of the series. The “Baseline” goes like this…

  • 500m row
  • 40 air squats
  • 30 sit ups
  • 20 push ups
  • 10 pullups

Do it for time. Aim for 5 minutes or under.

So, I decided to program that workout as our “warmup” for the hell that would happen next. None of us had ever done it before, so the times we put out…

  • 4:35
  • 5:14
  • 5:16

…weren’t too bad.

After that, we moved out to the parking garage and performed a workout called, “Death by Burpees.” I first read about the “death by…” protocol in Bobby Maximus’ book called “The Maximus Body.” Buy it here on Amazon – Men’s Health Maximus Body.
I highly recommend this book. Bobby is the owner of Gym Jones, and will teach you how to go about kicking your ass old-school style. No frills here – just hardcore horse-power. You might cry. Or puke. Or both. Bobby doesn’t care – he drinks your tears.


Any of the “Death by…” protocols are EMOM (every minute on the minute) programs. Basically, once you start your stopwatch, you should be starting a new set every time a new minute ticks over. Early on, you think its a joke, but, once you get about 10 minutes into the workout, you understand what is happening – your work interval is overtaking your rest interval. So, this is how Death by Burpees looks…

0:00 – 1 burpee

1:00 – 2 burpees

2:00 – 3 burpees

3:00 – 4 burpees

and so on…

16:00 – 17 burpees

Okay – i’ll stop there – you get the point. And, that is where I stopped. The rule in this EMOM program is that if you don’t finish your prescribed work from the prior minute, and the new minute starts, you are DONE. You are BEATEN.

For me, I finished my 16th burpee of the 15th minute at 15:53. That left me 7 seconds to catch my breath, and prepare for 17 burpees. I decided to fall over, and join my cohorts who tapped out at 11 and 14 burpees.

After we stopped retching, we finished off the workout with a nice recover jog up 5 ramps of the parking garage. Then we ate our victory omelets at First Watch.

It was a good Wednesday.


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